REVISED Desire… 3/22 A.L.

[ I’ve been working on a fiction piece.. this is an excerpt I edited today]

The feeling raged inside her chest as if she may burst at any moment. How could she feel these desires for someone she hardly even knew– how could she betray the one she loved so far away. The soft glances, small touches, and passing words felt like poison… poison she knew better not to be tempted by. But the poison was so tempting. 

Was it proximity? Was it because he was standing in front of her here while someone else was across an ocean? Was it bitterness? Longing for the one she wished to be with. Or was it because she wasn’t strong enough? She wanted to be strong enough. 

But desire was edging her forward.  Forward towards a cliff which she didn’t know if she should jump off of. 

It’s as if the man standing in front of her knew her flesh’s every want every desire… while the heart knew it was tethered to another. Is this how it happens? Was this start of deceit? 

She wondered if she just walked away right in that moment and jumped into the arms of her true love if these feelings would go away? Was it all a masquerade believing that soul mates exist when someone else could waltz in and destroy that at any given moment? 

She closed her eyes tight. Her mind’s eye saw his face. She knew his every outline, every freckle on his face. She could imagine the way he sighed and how his mouth curved as he smiled. She could feel his arms as they wrapped around her when he slept. She could feel the way he felt when he held her. 

As she opened her eyes the feeling of these strange hands sent chills up her spine. The rush of adrenaline could not match the familiar feeling of true love. Stepping back and shaking her head she willed herself to speak. 

 Out of her mouth spoke the words she knew were more powerful than her desire, “No… I can’t.” 

Taken back by her words the man looked in confusion, even frustration. Coming towards her again– Mae ran.

Gaetano Motisi Design | Desire

Abigail teaches 5th grade science and math to her fabulous kiddos in Cincinnati. She earned her BA at Judson University in Chicago-land and is working on her Masters in Teaching at Miami University through the Ohio Writing Project. She has a passion for integrating writing and reading into all contents. She loves coffee about as much as her husband and baby son… and is a self-proclaimed lifetime learner. Catch up with daily happenings and ramblings on Twitter @mrsablund via email Abigaillund@foresthills.edu or check out other writings by Abigail https://movingwriters.org/category/abigail-lund/

Published by Abigail Lund

Abigail teaches 5th grade science and math to her fabulous kiddos in Cincinnati. She earned her BA at Judson University in Chicago-land and is working on her Masters in Teaching at Miami University through the Ohio Writing Project. She has a passion for integrating writing and reading into all contents. She loves coffee about as much as her husband and baby son… and is a self-proclaimed lifetime learner. Catch up with daily happenings and ramblings on Twitter @mrsablund or via email Abigaillund@foresthills.edu.

5 thoughts on “REVISED Desire… 3/22 A.L.

  1. The word “Forward towards a cliff…” got me thinking about human nature, what propels us to take risks? It seems as if you are exploring this, and I want to read more. Then – you end it with a true cliffhanger! YIKES! The man comes toward her and “Mae runs.” Oh my!!

    Like

  2. A classic love conundrum– fidelity or temptation. Your excerpt leaves us wanting to know more about the man for whom Mae is saving her heart.

    Like

  3. This piece is engaging….and left me wanting more. Is your earlier piece from 2/1 of the same name the same scene? I am interested to see the before and after of your editing. Not to judge but to learn from it. Thank you for sharing.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started
%d bloggers like this: